Crystal and David Brame - Part 1

0:00 Hi. I'm Tina and I'm Rich. If there's one thing we've learned and over twenty years of marriage. It's that some days you'll feel like killing your. Wife and some days you'll feel like killing your husband. Welcome to love, Mary Kill, Hey Rich, Hey Tina, how are you. I'm doing fabulous. How are you? You're looking quite handsome today. Well, I did just get a haircut just for I knew we were recording today, so I wanted to make sure I learned my best. So I got some new makeup in the mail, and I was like playing with the new makeup that I got, so I probably look a little like a cloud cut some new blush. I'm like, oh, this is really pink.

0:48 Oh no, you look great. Well, thank you. So for everyone, but especially women, it's like go time. It's the season that we're all thinking about, you know, Thanksgiving, what we're cooking for Thanksgiving, what we're buying for Christmas, how we're going to decorate. I've noticed a change in you over the last two to three weeks, and I can tell yeah, it is definitely go time for you. Well to like today, I'm starting to feel a little bit of stress, but I'm trying to prepare ahead. So we are having some guests for Thanksgiving, which we're super excited about, our sons coming home, our daughter's coming home. It's interesting because you know, we're more or less empty nesters now. There's less people to do the work. Truly, there's less people to be like, hey, can you do this real quick or no. It's really all on me and you to a lesser extent. So I'm trying to like focus on I'm just going to clean one room, you know, because there's a lot of rooms in our house that are use like the guest bedroom. Like I'm going to clean all the wash, all the bedding and you know, get that ready, and you know, get that room completely clean. But that's where Cosmo sleeves too, so and he doesn't help at all either, Right a couple I actually made our Thanksgiving gravy already.

1:59 Yeah it was really good. I think it was pretty good, and I made I haven't really talked about this, but a lot of times when we make meat, I souv the meat and that's when you cook it in a warm water bath. And for me, I'm not a great like meat cook, but it's it always turns out well right. Yeah, it does, so I already keep itisture. Yeah. So I cooked a turkey breast in the subet. I think I'm going to make another one your practice. No, well, we ate some of it, but I froze the rest of it, so don't worry. It's not in the refrigerators in the freither. I think it'll be fine if I just warm it up in the subet again. So just trying to think at all. Yeah, I think you need like a project manager for but it's also. Almost your birthday. Yeah, and well, we've talked about this a lot. People probably know. Rich's cake of choice is cherry chip cake. For some reason, you're going to make me angry. I don't even know what's happening. But you cannot find a cherry chip makes. If you live in the United States and you see one, let me know, send it to us. I would be happy to pay you exorbitantly for it.

3:02 So, just a couple of days ago, I was thinking about this and I went to the Betty Crocker website. Oh yeah, and it's there. I've tried that. No, I know, I know, but people comment at every comment is why can't I find this anywhere? And the Betty Crocker people reply. They replied like, oh, we're sorry, you can't find it. You should talk to your store person. We're still making it and they're acting like that making it. In Canada and we're, you know what, forty five minutes to the Canadian border, so maybe we'll make a run for the border. But our very sweet listener, Teresa, who is a great baker, may have sent me a recipe for a cherry chipping but still I have to dehydrate the cherries and that's kind of yeah, it's real. It is gonna be the same as the box mix. I mean, remember what well I last year, I kind of I had one bot. I just kind of did it that way and that was pretty good. It was good. Yeah, it was really good. So anyway, if you see a cherry chip cake mix, let me know remember what happened this summer though. That was a major faux pod in our part.

3:59 We found one in a grocery store. Where were we Where were in Wisconsin? We were in Indiana, way to Chicago. Yes, it was on our road trip and they had it. I was like we should pick some up, and we decided not to. Our car was literally so packed we didn't have room. Two boxes of cake. Mix speaking a mistake. Of cake that was in a very good transition. I have a snack for you today. Oh okay, but it's not cake, okay. Another listener named Taylor, who is a Michigan native, reached out to me recently and suggested that we try JoJo's Bakery in Traverse City. I believe her parents lived there, and I've never heard of JoJo's Bakery before. So I hopped on the internet and I found their website and I ordered a dozen cookies. Not that we need a dozen cookies, but I couldn't decide which ones to get.

4:47 That's exciting. I know I already ate the o'meal raisin. I bet you're okay with that. I am okay with that. Taylor said, the best cookie is the lemon glazed molasses, and that's I'm guessing the one that you're going to want to try, and we'll let you choose one out of the box. I thought it was a really good price, though it was, like, I don't know, fifty dollars to get a dozen cookies, which is super cheap if you ever order bake goods online. Sent some to our son too, So I will hand you this box and you can choose which one you We should definitely try the lemon molasses one. All right, it sounds good. What did you think of JoJo's cookie?

5:27 Oh man, that was so good? Such a great flavor, like yeah, really lemon out of flavor, the good combination the lemon and the molasses. So a great box, like a great gift box. I think all the cookies arrived in really good shape, so I think this would be a great gift for Christmas. I really want to try them all. And they came pretty quickly too. They have two stores, one in Potaski and one in Traverse City, and it's Jojo'scookie Company dot com. We'll put a link in our show notes. So thank you. Would you say ten out of ten out a ton easy? Which one do you want to try next? They all look so good, but the one I think it's called them stacker. It's like a sandwich cookie that looks amazing. That's mine, So pick again. You got to pick the raisin oatmeal one.

6:08 So I get to maig that one. Tore that right out of your head? Is mine? Yeah, I think few people understand my love for the raisin cookies, but I really do love them. We love to support Michigan businesses. Today's case does not occur in Michigan. We are going to Washington State. I'm going to tell you the story of Crystal and David Brame, and it's a heartbreaking case. Thank you to Nachelle for recommending this case. She's from the area and remembers how deeply the community was affected by this tragedy. Michelle, We're so sorry for your recent loss. We're thinking of you and sending you love. All quotes, unless otherwise noted, come from the book Tacoma Confidential by Paul LaRosa. We'll talk more about that when we get to the end of part two, but excellent book.

6:50 On the night of February fifteenth, two thousand and three, Crystal and David Brame we're having yet another explosive argument, the kind that had become all too familiar during their eleven year marriage. Their two children, Haley Aid and David Junior, five, sat unfazed in the living room watching TV while their parents fought. The family of four lived in a comfortable home on Eagle Creek Lane and Gig Harbor, about ten miles from Tacoma, Washington, where David forty four served as the city's chief of police. To the outside world, David Brain was handsome, charismatic, and confident, good at his job, and admired by his community. But behind that polished exterior, he was demanding, controlling, narcissistic, and deeply cruel. Crystal, just five feet tall and one hundred five pounds, had learned to live carefully under his rule. Each morning, he forced her to step on a scale to be weighed under his watchful eye. Oh man, isn't it horrible?

7:47 Terrible? She'd carefully maintained the same weight since meeting David, even after two pregnancies, but her husband hurled insults at her, making Crystal feel as if she wasn't good enough for him. That night, though, she was taking a stick and refusing to attend a work dinner with David. When she again refused to get dressed, David bram At over six feet tall and two hundred pounds, towered over his petite wife, intimidating her as she cowered in the corner, wrapping herself into a defensive fetal position, ready for the blows that she was sure were to come. She was determined to stand her ground for once. The dinner was at Anthony's, a popular seafood restaurant in Tacoma, honoring two of Bram's newly appointed deputies. For Cristel hadn't felt well all day, and she told her husband she didn't want to go.

8:34 Which should have been a simple disagreement, ignited into yet another fiery battle, a pattern that was becoming increasingly dangerous. David retreated slightly and called Crystal to their closet, asking for her help to find his favorite blue turtleneck. Relieved that she seemed to have won the battle to stay home, she went to the closet and hovered near the open door, hesitant to enter. David had locked her in side recently for hours. When she looked up, David was pointing his Service Revolver at her. It wasn't the first time he'd pointed a gun at her. It's not loaded, you idiot, he said, trying to hand his weapon to her. Take it. He demanded, you need to know how to protect yourself. Cristel refused. She'd seen enough Law and Order episodes to know better than to put her fingerprints on the weapon.

9:19 Do you think I'm stupid, she asked, I know you're stupid, he retorted, David grabbed Cristel by the waist and pulled her body close to his, jamming the glock under her chin. Accidents happen, he said, menacingly. David released his hold on Cristal and she collapsed to the floor. He stormed out of the house, slamming the door loudly in his wake. Cristel remained crumpled on the closet floor, sobbing, and reminded herself that the devor's papers would be delivered in just a few days. She and the children were almost free from David's tyranny. The nightmare would soon be over, or would it. Well, he sounds like a horrible, horrible human being. Not a good guy. Tkacoma, Washington State's third largest city, has a population of about two hundred thirty thousand. Sitting on the shores of Puget Sound, twenty seven miles south of Seattle. Tacoma has had its share of bad luck for over one hundred years. Seattle has beaten Tacoma at every turn. Even Mount Rainier was supposed to be called Mount Tacoma until Seattle intervened, and then There's Galloping Gurdy, the suspension bridge that earned its nickname because it swayed and undulated violently even in light winds. The bridge famously collapsed into the Puget Sound on November seventh, nineteen forty particularly windy day. Thankfully, no one was killed and the bridge's collapse. The disaster became a churning point in engineering history, transforming the way long span suspension bridges were designed and ultimately making them far safer.

10:49 That was caught on camera. It wasn't it. It was filmed, I think at the time. And I remember this distinctly from school, probably like a physics class. But the bridge was just going crazy. People are like running off of it, and cars were tilting left and right and really a wild correct. There is video of it, and again no one died, but one dog did perish in the collapse. But I have a real fear of going over bridges and I hate driving over them. But yeah, I mean the bridges to. Fail sometimes they do. Yeah. Known as the City of Destiny after being chosen as the western terminus of the Northern Pacific Railroad in the late eighteen hundreds, Tacoma has always had grit and character.

11:32 Once a booming industrial and shipping town, by the early two thousands it was in the midst of a transformation, vitalizing its waterfront, opening the Museum of Glass, and nurturing a growing arts scene. It's a city with working classroots and civic pride, where community ties run deep. Tacoma is also known for some darker associations, with a crime rate considerably higher than the national average. Your chance of being a victim of violent crime is one in eighty one, property crime one in fourteen. Tacoma is the birthplace of serial killer Ted Bundy, in the sight of several high profile criminal cases, including Gary Ridgeway, the Green River Killer. The Tacoma Police Department is actively investigating one hundred forty seven cold case homicides and twenty unsolved missing persons cases dating back as far as nineteen thirty six. However, in recent years there has been an effort by law enforcement and crime rates have been slashed by seventeen percent. To those who live there, it's a place of rugged beauty and endurance, framed by Mount Rainier and bound by the waters of the Puget Sound. As early as anyone could remember, David Alan Bram had wanted to be a police officer like his father. Born in nineteen fifty eight to Beverly and Eugene, David grew up in East Tacoma, the grittier side of town. The youngest of four children. He had two brothers, Jean and Dan, and a sister, Jane. All three boys followed in their father's footsteps and became law enforcement officers. David was a good kid, the apple of his parents' eyes, quiet and serious, spending his spare time

13:04 memorizing Bible verses. He was a good student and an exceptional athlete, leading his high school's basketball team to a state championship. His siblings claimed that he was his parent's favorite child. David attended community college before moving on to the University of Puget Sound, graduating with a degree in criminal justice. He joined the Tacoma Police Department in nineteen eighty one. He married for the first time, to a woman who's chosen to remain anonymous. She has never spoken publicly about their marriage, but David claimed she was unfaithful. He allegedly caught her in bed with another police officer. They divorced after eight years of marriage. David was tall and handsome but awkward with women. The divorce and alleged infidelity had rocked his confidence. He pined to be married again and start a family, but he was having a hard time meeting women.

13:55 Crystal Diet Judson was born to Paddy and Lane in Tacoma, Washington, on April time, twenty fourth, nineteen sixty eight. She has a younger sister by two years, Julie Lane. Judson was a proud member of the US Navy before starting his career at Boeing as an engineering supervisor. His first tour of duty was from nineteen fifty two to nineteen fifty seven, but he later re enlisted in the Naval Reserve, serving additional tours in nineteen sixty five, nineteen eighty two, and nineteen ninety five. That's pretty impressive. That is very cool. Patty was a homemaker. Together, they ran a meticulously tight ship. To see what you did there. They did write that on purpose. Their house was always spotless, and their daughters brought that lesson into their homes later in life. They were a close knit family. Crystal, like David, was the favored child in her family. She was smart, pretty loquacious, and athletic.

14:48 She was both a ballerina and an ice skater, once competing against and beating infamous Olympic figure skater Tanya Harding Wow. Later in high school, Kristal was a cheerleader and a daffodil princess. She also taught herself sign language and spoke fluent French. You're not going to ask me what a daffodil princesses? I can only imagine. I think it was a local festival and there was a court of you know, young women chosen to be daffodil princesses. That's pretty cool. She seems very impressive. Yeah. Crystal attended University of Washington and majored in criminal justice. When it was time for Julie to go to college, she and Cristel became roommates. Crystal, a recent college graduate, met twenty nine year old divorcee David Brahem while working part time for the Tacoma Police Department posing as a sex worker in a prostitution sting. After the arrest was made, Crystal asked David for a ride home. She made it clear that she was interested, attracted to his alpha male status and confidence. He asked her out, and the two began dating. David was focused on his career, while Crystel enjoyed going out and spending time with friends, but he often pressured her to stay home and dead. The control began subtly when Cristel started looking for jobs. David insisted she worked only with women, making it clear he didn't want other men taking an interest or flirting with her.

16:11 What do you think about that? That's a really bad sign. Early on, Julie, Crystal's sister, didn't like David from the start, but she kept her opinions to herself. I thought she had to live her own life, she said. It just seemed that he was making all the decisions for her instead of her making her own decisions. Julie thought that Cristel's outgoing nature was too vibrant for David's quiet reserve. She lit up a room while he preferred to fade into the background. Which probably made him a good police officer, right, He was good at observing and you know, wasn't worried about talking a lot, right, but didn't make him a great partner. Yeah. After two years of dating, David proposed, and Crystal happily accepted. She told her mother, Patty, he makes me feel safe. Years later, this statement would haunt Patty. She never liked to David and once told him, You'd be nothing without your gun and uniform. He liked to refer to his mother in law as the Barnacle.

17:08 I think that's kind of a good name for a mother in law. Really, yeah, kind of. They married in front of one hundred and seventy five friends and family on August third, nineteen ninety one. Crystal moved into David's house after the wedding, the same house where he had lived with his first wife. Crystal worked for the Circuit Court until she became a stay at home mom when their first child, Haley, was born on Christmas Eve, nineteen ninety four. David Junior followed in November nineteen ninety seven. After Haley was born, they moved into a modest home in gig Harbor, a picturesque city on the Puget Sound connected to Tacoma by the Tacoma and Narrows Bridge. Which replaced Gallopinger, Okay. After the move, David's financial control of Crystal began. He kept a firm grasp on their money, often not even giving Crystal money for gas for her car. Lane Cristel's father recalled David, saying, it says David brain on that check.

18:01 It doesn't say Crystal. If you don't like it, do something about it. He gave Crystal one hundred dollars every two weeks for groceries and household spending. She didn't have access to their bank accounts or credit cards. He even checked the mileage on her car and demanded receipts matching timestamps with where she said she was. He went as far as limiting her visits with her family. For extra money. Crystal began to sell her and the children's clothing to a resale shop, but when David found out, he demanded half of the proceeds. So David was making enough money to support the family. He was just very frugal. He was obsessed with saving money. I don't know if he wanted to retire early, but he wanted to save at least five thousand dollars a month.

18:44 I'm not sure if what was it this time or a little bit later, but still that's five thousand dollars a month. That's a lot of money to save at Definitely, you know they could have been living a lot better. Yeah, it was more about control. Well, that's what I was going to say. Even if he was frugal, it seems like it was yeah, much more about control. One area of David's life that was going well was his career. He had received several promotions and pay raises over the years, which brings to question why he was so frugal with his wife. In nineteen ninety nine, David was promoted to assistant chief of police. So I get the impression that he was promoted so quickly, not because he was the best police officer, but he was good at department politics well.

19:25 As is often the case, I think he worked long hours, leaving Crystal to handle most of the parenting on her own. She was grateful that her parents, her sister Julie, and brother in law Dave, lived nearby. They spent a lot of time together, but whenever David joined them, he kept to himself, speaking little and often withdrawing from the group. Julie remembered one visit not long after the Brains had bought their new house. She found David lying alone on the floor of an unfurnished room, isolated from the rest of the family's laughter and conversation, and maybe saddest of all was that Crystal, formerly extroverted and social with lots of friends, was a shell of her former self. She no longer saw friends and didn't have a social outlet due to David's strict control. Her family made it clear to her that they did not expect her to stay in an unhappy marriage, but Crystal wanted to make it work.

20:19 She was isolated, Julie said, Mom and I tried to get her to go shopping or meet for lunch, but something always came up with David. He wouldn't let her go anywhere, and when she did come along, she had no money. Another unsettling detail in the Brains marriage was that David insisted on accompanying Crystal to her annual gynecological exams and even sat in the room while they were performed. That's a little creepy, right, It's super creepy. We'll be back after a break. There are some people who don't believe David was abuse of her controlling. They claim that Crystal struggle with mental health issues, possibly obsessive compulsive disorder, which intensified after the birth of their daughter, Hayley, leading to what they describe as erratic or unpredictable behavior, but those voices came mostly from David's family. His sister Jane defended her brother, saying during their marriage, David felt like he never knew what was what he was going to come home to. He used to say, I feel like I'm raising three kids.

21:27 She recalled one evening when she was on the phone with him and Cristel arrived home. David abruptly ended the call, telling his sister that Cristel didn't like him talking to the family. She'll feel the phone to see if it's warm, he said. According to Jane, David claimed that Cristel often had emotional outbursts and could be verbally and even physically explosive towards him and the children. Friends of David described the Brame household as chaotic, saying the children seem to lack structure and discipline. They echoed David's claims that Cristel struggled to maintain control, portraying her as overwhelmed and emotionally unstable. Several people said when they were on the phone with Crystal that she would tend to yell at her kids, But every parent knows your children never act worse than when You're on the phone, for sure, and I don't really believe that Crystal would touch the phone to.

22:20 Unlikely. And then there was the relationship between Beverly and Crystal. They did not get along at all, likely sending from the fact that no one was good enough for David, the baby of the family. Once, while taking a family photo, when Beverly asked Crystal to step out of the frame, fists nearly flew, and David's sister, Jane, questioned Crystal's account of David's tight fisted ways with their finances. It would take the kids forty five minutes to open their birthday presents. It was so ridiculous, it was sickening, Jane said, Why would a little five year old girl need thirty five Barbie dolls? David wanted his kids to have everything nice, but not to that extent. Everything was overboard. The normalacy was not there with Crystal. Jane produced credit card bills from two thousand and three which showed about eleven hundred dollars charged around Christmas time to bolster her claim, but there was no proof of who had used the credit cards, and even eleven hundred dollars at Christmas time when you're buying gifts for two kids and two families. I don't think is an excessive amount to spend.

23:25 No, it doesn't seem like it. But it seems like there are two very different pictures being painted here, depending on whether you're talking to his family or hers. It's hard to reconcile the two, like one of them must be telling the truth and one of them must not be. Absolutely. Crystal's friends and family told a different story. They said she was at a voted mother who adored her children and tried desperately to hold her family together despite David's increasing volatility. They recalled how she would arrive at their homes in tears, describing his constant criticism and unpredictable temper. To them, Crystal wasn't unstable, she was terrified. The neighbor recalled an incident when David Junior broke a lamp, causing a hole in the wall. Cristel was sobbing and asked for him to help repair the wall before David got home.

24:11 Cristel really didn't have relationships with her neighbors. She was so desperate to get this wall repaired that she went over to him and asked him for help, but they weren't friends, okay. On another occasion, a neighbor saw Cristel pounding on the front door of their home, screaming to be let in. Twice. In September nineteen ninety six, David wrote detailed accounts of arguments that he and Cristel had. He gave them to a fellow officer for safe keeping. Here is one account, with the two year old Haley present. Cristel kept a barrage of sarcastic and profane criticism throughout the day and into the evening. She refused to drop the matter. Finally, at eleven PM, I went to bed. As soon as I laid down, Cristel came into the room, turned on the light, and announced that she had things to do in the bedroom. I retreated to the living room couch. She followed and turned on the light, announcing that she wanted to watch some television. This went on for another hour or two, which I repeatedly said that I had to go to bed as I needed to get up early to go to work the next morning. Finally, in desperation, I warned Crystal that if she didn't stop her ringing me, I was going to leave the house.

25:15 She continued her verbal assaults, then began punching and hitting me because she was so angry and volatile. I gathered all three of the service revolvers I kept in the house, put them in my gym bag, and headed out the door. On my way out, Crystal shouted, if you leave, it'll be the biggest mistake of your life. I drove in my police cruiser to my parents' house to spend the night. Wow. Like he's putting this down in almost like a formal affidavit. Right, Like in the terms are very policeman like. Right, yes, writing it, you know, right case exactly. But it's weird that he would take the time to write this down, right. And remember, David is a big man, and Crystal, we know, is five feet tall and one hundred pounds.

25:58 Yeah, the fact that he would take the time to write this down tells me that he was planning something, Like he was planning for the potential of us himself at some point. Yeah. Patty remembered the night vividly. Crystal had called her sobbing after David threatened to put a bullet into both her and Haley. Terrified, Patty begged her daughter to call the police and file a report. Crystal did call, but when asked if she wanted to make an official report, she hesitated. She didn't want David to face disciplinary action or lose his job, she declined to file a formal report, a decision that would later haunt everyone who loved her. The next day, when he returned home, David chastised Crystal for calling the police, warning her not to bite the hand that feeds you.

26:43 I feel so bad for someone married to a police officer in that situation, because you're just really in a terrible spot. Not long after, another argument broke out, this time over a five thousand dollars bedroom set that Crystal wanted for their new home, which David flatly refused to buy, calling too expensive. In David's written account, he claims that Cristel yelled at him for ninety minutes, throwing things at him while he held two year old Hayley. He called a friend and fellow officer, Norman Conway, who met him at the gig Harbor Police Department to decide what to do. David looked Haggar. The T shirt he wore was torn, and allegedly he had other injuries that weren't recorded. Brain was insistent that he didn't want to press charges. He wanted to work on his marriage. She went nuts on me. Norm.

27:29 I don't know what to do anymore. I want to stay and work on her marriage, but it's getting harder. Document everything, Norm suggested. David wrote his account and gave it to his friend for safe keeping. He also filed an informational report with the gig Harbor Police Department that read, in part, Brame is concerned with possible escalating problems with his wife, Cristel. Brame states his wife has become increasingly hostile verbally towards him and has made threats to destroy his career with false accusations. Plans to move from the residence later this night and may request civil standby. In June nineteen ninety eight, after another physical altercation with Crystal, David asked his mother to photograph dark purple bruises on his upper arms and scratches on his neck. Crystal later said that the bruises were self inflicted, that David had taken weights and dropped them on his arms to form the bruises. In two thousand and one, Julie bought her sister a lifetime membership to Oaces Tanning Salon, a generous gift that Cristel loved and used often. Over the next year and a half, she went nearly two hundred times, but every two point eight days. I believe she struck up an unexpected friendship with the salon's owner, Debbie Phillips.

28:46 Since marrying David, Cristel had drifted away from most of her friends and hadn't built new connections after becoming a mother. Debbie became a safe space, someone Crystal could finally open up to. Debbie was also a domestic abuse survivor and became a trusted friend. During one of their talks, Cristel confided something that shocked Debbi. Her sex life with David. She said had turned violent. Bondage choking. It feels like rape, Crystal whispered. David eventually sought counseling for what he called a sexual addiction, but according to Cristel, his desire for control and his obsession with mixing pleasure and pain never stopped. Crystal and David once went on a vacation to Desert Shadows Inn Resort in Palm Springs, a clothing optional retreat that catered to people new to the lifestyle. They enjoyed it enough to return three more times. During one visit, they befriended another couple from New Mexico, and they agreed to meet up again. Months later, David approached the other man and asked if he might be interested in swapping partners.

29:50 The man agreed and they arranged another trip, but when the time came, Cristel refused to go through with it. David was furious, so the clothing optional resort. We don't know how Crystal really felt about it. I'm not sure if she went along with it or she was into it. Yeah, well, even if she was into that, it sounds like the partner swapping thing she was definitely not comfortable with. She was not into that at all. Finally, in early two thousand and two, after twenty years on the force, David forty three, had the career opportunity he'd been waiting for. The police chief was retiring. It was an arduous interview process. Candidates were interviewed by city council members, but ultimately the decision was made by the city manager. Among the thirty two applicants, four made it to the final round. Among them, David Brain being vice president of the local police union, and earning their endorsement helped his chances. In January, the city manager Ray Corpus offered David the job as the city's forty sixth police chief, with the stipulation that he would have to move within the city limits of Tacoma within the next eighteen months.

30:58 His salary was one hundred and thirty two thousand, four hundred twelve dollars and eighty cents, plus eight thousand dollars deferred compensation. About two hundred thirty five thousand dollars. Today and eighty cents. David was likely chosen for the position because of his deep roots in Tacoma and his family's legacy and law enforcement. The local hometown hero was the most logical choice. In the days before the city manager made his decision, someone anonymously contacted him to tell him that Brame's marriage was a mess and there were allegations of domestic abuse. When asked for proof, they couldn't produce any, so Corpus went ahead with bram Upon starting the job, Brame asked everyone to simply call him Dave.

31:42 He wasn't comfortable being called chief, He told the Tacoma News Tribune. What is right with the Tacoma Police Department is the men and women who give it all day in and day out. Our future is limited only by our ability to dream. I'm home and this is where I'll stay, and together I know we will do great things. When Brain was sworn in, Crystal awkwardly pinned his new badge on him in a ceremony attended by two hundred people, including his children. Four year old David Junior stole the show when he grabbed the microphone and said thank you for coming. Among Brain's tasks were managing four hundred and twenty employees and an annual fifty one million dollar budget. David's idol was Michael Corleone, and that's the way he liked to run his department, Godfather style. He stacked the Tacoma Police Department with allies and got rid of people he deemed problematic. He demanded blind loyalty from his subordinates, no questions asked. You would think someone being the police chief would know that Michael Corleone might not be the best role model. Tacoma Police detective and friend of David's, Barry McColeman, got him a framed signed picture of al Pacino as a gift when he became chief. He hung it in his office and even kept DVDs of the three films in his desk. Mcc coleman said, was kind of obsessed with the Godfather movie. He talked about the movie a lot. He could quote from it and used it in our bargaining, our union stuff. I could never remember that kind of shit. I couldn't even remember who the different guys were or the character's names. But Da,

33:14 he was obsessed. His friends called him DA. But that might be something that you might want to do in your career. Yeah, you could use Michael Corleone in your meetings. I probably should. Yeah, So, like Michael Corleone, David had a list of enemies, including Police Captain Charles Minima. Minima was the leader of Bram's opposition. Lines were drawn in the Tacoma PD. You were either on team Brame or Team Minima, and the acrimony spilled over into office politics. David played dirty too, demoting officers just months before their thirty year retirement date, costing them valuable pension money. When one officer asked why, Brame simply said, because I can others who disagreed with his management style chose to resign, valuing their pride and integrity over loyalty to him. All of this, of course, was done without the public's knowledge.

34:06 Most people believed Chief Brame was doing an excellent job. His public image remained polished and professional. On February fourth, two thousand and three, the city even passed a thirty four point three million dollar bond measure to fund four new police substations and a new headquarters that David would oversee, a clear sign that Tacoma's residence had confidence in his leadership. Brame had an uncanny way of exuding sincerity in public and putting forth a positive image, but not everyone was fooled. Here's a memo he put out in his first weeks as chief. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

34:48 Successful people are loyal, honest, and self starters. Take responsibility for every area of your life. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one you did. If only he had lived by those words, What. A fraudulent Turkey. This guy is right. Yeah, I'll say he's. Spouting all these words and not living by them. And yeah, I don't like it. Jeannette Blackwell had been the administrative assistant to the Chief of Police since nineteen ninety six, serving two chiefs before David Bram. Within the department, everyone knew Jeanette was the one who truly kept things running. He led people to believe that he was very, very humble.

35:28 She said. I had believed him too, until I started working closely with him and realized how arrogant he was. Jeanette recalled that Bram showed little respect for others, even his fellow officers. It was very embarrassing, very horrible, she said. He was often rude and dismissive to the other secretaries in the department as well, but to the public he displayed an awe shuck's local boy charm. Don't call me Chief, He'd say, with a chygrin, I grew up here, call me da. Jeannette was professional, but was kind and had a warm personality that put people at ease, even David. Although she held a great deal of disdain for him, she was able to hide it. He began confiding to her about his marriage, calling her into his office each morning and unloading Crystal's latest transgressions toward him. She was volatile and abusive toward their children and him, he claimed.

36:20 When David crossed the line and shared personal details of his sex life with Jeannette, she corrected him and told him he'd gone too far. David often vented about Crystal to other coworkers too. He painted her as unstable, irrational, and sometimes unhinged. He made it clear that he believed someday she might snap. One time, Jeannette was on the way to the emergency room and it was eleven o'clock at night, with her sick child in the car, and David called her and said, hey, what are you doing And she's like, well, I'm driving my child to the emergency room. And he said, oh, well, let me tell you what's going on with me in Crystal Wow, and never even asking about her child.

37:00 Geez, we'll be back after a break. Based on absolutely no proof, David decided that Crystal was having an affair and was determined to catch her in the act. On April twenty fourth, two thousand and two, Crystal's thirty fourth birthday, she was stunned when she received a flower delivery. The card simply read from your secret admirer. Crystal didn't have a secret admirer, Lane Judson, Crystal's father, said those flowers were from Bram. He was playing games, just like he always did, like he was trying to catch her in the act right. David also bought her a Thomas Kincaid lithograph. Their house was filled with them.

37:46 He loved the Painter of Light, but Crystal couldn't stand the mass produced art. Remember the time? Oh kay there, Yeah, they were kind of cool. They're kind of cool, but yeah, you don't get a gift to somebody that is something you like but not that into. Oh you're not supposed to do that. No. David, try as he might, had never been much of a ladies man. While somewhat attractive, he was awkward and a little shy around women. But after he became chief something shifted. The position gave him a new sense of confidence or arrogance, and he began feeling emboldened to make advances toward women in ways he once wouldn't have dared.

38:26 There were a few pseudonyms in this story, people that preferred to remain anonymous, and I believe Linda Watson is one of them. Okay. Thirty year old Linda Watson, tall, slim, and burnett was the most attractive female cop on the force. She'd been with the Tacoma Police Department since nineteen ninety three. David had taken interest in her years earlier when he asked her if she'd like help studying for the detective's exam. The speed at which Brame was promoted was legendary around the station, so she took him up on his offer. They met for lunch and he gave her some point and another officer was present to set Linda at ease. Not long after, while on duty filing paperwork out in her cruiser, David, Crystal and the children happened by, and David introduced her to his family. When she scheduled a meeting to discuss adjusting her work hours to better accommodate her six year old daughter, David seemed attentive at first, but rather than addressing her request to stand the day shift, he leaned in too close and turned the conversation toward personal questions unrelated to her schedule. When the meeting ended without a resolution, David asked her to meet him for lunch again. She agreed, hoping to drive home how important it was for her as a single mother to be there for her daughter at night. But the lunch again felt uncomfortable, too familiar and not addressing Linda's concerns, David asked her pointed questions that revealed that he must have studied her personnel file or reached out to her friends

39:58 for more information. Too much. Linda was very uncomfortable. Finally, he got to the point, do you want to do a little true crime theater? I'm sure? Do you want to be dated? Not really? Do you can you pull off SWARMI? Not really, but I'll do my best. All right. Last week, when Crystal and I ran into you at the mall, later she told me how much she liked you, how beautiful you are. Well, that's nice. I liked her too. Maybe some night we could all go to the theater together and have dinner together. Oh, I think it would be better for you and your wife to enjoy a date night without me tagging along. Well, that's where you're wrong. Crystal has a wild side. She likes to try new things, especially in the bedroom.

40:38 I think you might be the same, She fight, I. Don't think this is an appropriate conversation. You're making me uncomfortable. You know, crysteal and I have fantasized about bringing someone else into our bed. We've talked about having a threesome, and we both thought you might be interested. You can get to know her a little better if you'd like. It's been a fantasy we've always had, but we've never acted on it. You're making me comfortable, making myself uncomfortable for me. I really need to get going. I need to pick up my daughter, all. Right, But don't forget to think about my offer. And good luck on that detective's exam. I really hope we can get you that promotion soon. Oh boy. He had to bring in the thing about the promotion at the end, too.

41:20 So Linda fled from the restaurant. Deeply disturbed by the conversation. She went home and took a scolding hot shower. But one thing she knew for sure was that she didn't want Chief Rame as an enemy. He'd just put her in an impossible situation, but he'd made the implications clear. If she entered into a sexual relationship with him and his wife, she'd be made a detective and receive a more favorable schedule. And then the phone calls started. Rain, typically on weekends, would call Linda to invite her over to his house or to meet up at a hotel with him and Crystal. She dodged the calls as much as possible. Sometimes he'd even put Crystal on the phone.

42:00 Linda stopped answering her phone, but surprisingly she was promoted to detective. I was very surprised that she was promoted to detective. I am surprised to hear that too. Cristel had no desire to be part of a threesome, but David put pressure on her to call Linda in hopes of them forging a friendship, while Linda was hunt high alert by this time and rebuffed any advances and made it clear that she was not interested. Meanwhile, the Brain's marriage continued to unravel. The arguments became more frequent, more intense, more violent. When David lost his temper, choking Crystel became his go to form of control. His grip was so strong that more than once Crystal lost consciousness.

42:42 The fear that he would take it too far or what he might do next never left Cristel's mind. His chilling words rang in her ears. It's every man's fantasy to strangle his wife. We've talked about the correlation between attempted strangulation and murder before. Prior to non fatal strangulation greatly increases the risk of future lethal violence. Women who experienced it had over six times the odds of an attempted homicide and over seven times the odds of a completed homicide. This highlights the importance of screening for non fatal strangulation when assessing abused women in an emergency setting.

43:23 If a man touches your neck, even once it's time to reevaluate your relationship. Those are really chilling statistics and really good advice. I mean, it's not something I ever would have really thought of before that that is such a correlation between yeah, that type of thing. But yeah, seriously, if someone touches your neck, you note that that person could touch your neck in a deadly manner at some point in the future. And I know it's easy for me to sit here and say, you know, leave your relationship if that happens, but that is one of the biggest red flags that we have. Sadly, sure one night, particularly disgusted, Crystal chose to sleep on the couch. She awoke to David looming over her. What are you doing?

44:04 Do you think you'd have a heart attack if you woke up and I was standing over you with a mask on and a butcher knife in my hand? Are you crazy? Not as crazy as you? I'm going to report you. I swear, go ahead. Who would believe you? I'm the chief of police? Or maybe you forgot that. No one will believe you, Crystal, So you go ahead and do whatever you want. You are playing creepy a little too well, sir. In February two thousand and three, Crystal began having severe stomach pains. David, who never lifted a finger around the house, was compassionate about her discomfort and began bringing her a coke every time she didn't feel well. Suspicious about his sudden concern for her health, she went to the doctor to be tested for arsenic poisoning, but it came back negative. But again, Crystal, she knows that she's in danger.

44:53 Yeah for sure. Well, and there's also a lot of other things other than arsenic that could yeah cause a problem too. Crystal had been on edge for years on the brink of filing for divorce, but the final straw may have come when David informed her that she was going to be a retired cop friend's birthday present. Oh my god, You're going to give him a blowjob and I get to watch. I will not. I've been planning to leave you for months. I'm leaving your perverted ass for good, and I know about your secret bank accounts. I'm taking half of everything what I deserve. I'll kill you before you get any of my deferred comp I can't believe you made me do that. I can't believe you did it so well. Crystal decided to file for divorce in Seattle in King County, hoping to keep the divorce private and quiet to protect David's job.

45:43 Despite everything, she and the children still relied on his income, and she really didn't want to humiliate him in public. On February twenty fourth, two thousand and three, Crystal's divorce lawyer told her that David would be served with papers that day. She was nervous, but relieved to get it over with. How would he react? Crystal knew it might get ugly, but she'd made a plan. She tried her best that morning to be pleasant and act normal. After David left her work, Paddy and Lane rushed over to help box up what they could bring to their house. They lived in a nearby gated community, which made Crystal feel safer. By two pm, they had vacated the house, which was fortunate because David arrived home soon after. It's like his CoP's intuition was pinging and he knew something was going on. As they walked through the house trying to find Crystal, he sensed that some of her things were missing. He called Jeanette at the station in a panic.

46:39 She's gone. Jeannette later recalled how emotional he'd been on the phone. David called his in law's house and begged to talk to Cristel. She agreed to talk to him. They both cried as he pleaded with her to return. He apologized for not treating her better. Cristel told him that they could talk later and hung up. Don't believe him, Christel. At four p m. A process server arrived at the Brame home and handed David the divorce papers. By that point, he wasn't surprised. In the filing. Cristel requested several things. Half of David's monthly income about fifty three hundred dollars, and that he'd pay her seven thousand, five hundred dollars attorney's fee and sole possession of their marital home. She also asked that David's mother, Beverly Braim, have no contact with the children, citing past incidents in which she had struck David Junior. The document also made it clear that she was fearful for her life. Later, after the children were settled with her grandparents, Cristel agreed to come back to the house. David told her that the police chaplain Bill Bolby would be there to help counsel them. Bolby was there when Cristel arrived. He reminded her that as a good Christian woman, that she had taken vows in front of God and she shouldn't forget that. He tried to talk her into pausing the divorce for six weeks while she and David attended marriage counseling. I can't know.

48:02 This was the hardest decision I ever have made in my life, but I think it's the best thing for me and the children. I just want all of us to be happy. David, It's better this way for all of us it is. Crystal told the chaplain some shocking secrets about David. The marriage was irreparable, she explained, she was done. She returned to her parents' house, feeling confident that she'd made the best decision possible for herself and for her children. Tragically, the nightmare was far from over. I was afraid it was far from over, because otherwise we probably wouldn't have an episode to talk about. But with this stupid police chaplain coming in and giving advice when he knows nothing about the marriage, and I don't know, it just bugs me that he just kind of came in blindly told her, Oh, you need to stay in and work.

48:49 On it, you know, right, And you know that that is a problem that the police chaplain didn't know that David was abusing her, you know. And I think that's a good point that any kind slur can only help you as much as like the amount of honesty you are with them. Yeah, it didn't really make sense, but I think you know what I mean. Yeah, for sure, I think that's where we're going to stop for part one. But how proud are you of Crystal for sticking with her decision to leave there at the end. Yeah, I mean really proud. That's hard to do, and she you know, went through a lot. It sounds like in those situations when someone is being controlled by a husband like that, I think it's very difficult to you know, get stand up for yourself and get out of it.

49:29 I think at that point she was just done and she had her resolve and she was ready to move on with her life. We had talked earlier about the two different accounts. We have David's account where Crystal was abusive and Crystal's account that David's what David was abusive. Yeah, which do you tend to believe more? Well? I tend to believe Crystal's account partly because, you know, I think with the stories you told about after he became chief of police, the way he treated people in the police department, it all points to kind of the same way that he seemed to be in the marriage as well, like just kind of controlling, using people, you know, getting rid of people he didn't like. It just seems like. Yeah, strolling the situation.

50:10 Yeah. That leads to my next question where I was saying, you know, do you think that David was manipulative and always covering his ass? By talking about Crystal's abuse and documenting their arguments. Remember, he would talk to his assistant and you know, all the people around the office, which is really unprofessional, if nothing else. Totally unprofessional, and like filing these AffA davits if you want to call them that, like these. Written reports files that you know, yeah. Yeah, that he would share with friends of me. It's obvious that he was doing that for a reason, like that he wanted to cover himself for a future, you know, whatever was going to happen in the future, whether it was divorce or you know, accusations against him of being abusive or whatever it was. He was trying to cover himself.

50:53 Well, I think nothing was more important to David than his career and the trajectory of his career. He was so proud right that he made it to chief, and there was probably some rivalry within his family, like he had made it to chief his father hadn't, you know, his brothers hadn't, And he would do anything to keep that job. I think, yeah, for sure. Do you think it was possible for Crystal to ever feel safe again? No? No, definitely not, sadly no, I think in that situation, like there's just too many red flags there. Do you wonder if anyone in the police force really know what was going on? Yeah? I mean I'm sure some people suspected. Because remember there were some this sect of people that were his enemy, right, and they really kind of saw through him.

51:39 Yeah, I'm sure they saw who he was as a person and probably could you know, extrapolate from that to what his relationship was with his wife. This is something that I think about all the time in these cases and even in my personal life. How do you support a woman who is going through an abusive relationship? Like what could Crystal's family have done or her friends have done. It's so hard because I think if a woman isn't ready to leave yet, there's really not much you can do. Yeah. I love that her parents had told her, honey, it's okay to leave him. Yeah, we're not telling you to stay in your marriage. I think that's the right. I think it's the only thing you can do, right. You can't tell someone to leave because they're you know, if they're not ready, like you said, it's not going to work. All you can do is be there and listen and help give them that kind of advice that you know, it's okay to make a decision that might go against what you believe or you know, what you want your life to look like.

52:32 But yeah, it's a really that's that's a very difficult situation. I think something that I have a hard time with. As you know a friend, being a wife and a mom, your job so often is to solve things, and I want to solve everyone's problems, and sometimes a friend just really needs you to listen. And that's something I've tried to work on a little more. Is you know, even with you, like you'll tell me something that's going on at work and I'm like, well, you need to do that, And then now I realize that you know, you'll you'll get there, you'll figure down your own and until you're ready to make a change, you know, all I can do is listen. But if you suspect a friend is in a dangerous situation, remind them it's okay to leave. And I'm always here for you if you need a safe place to go.

53:14 And help them identify what maybe resources might be available as well, Like you're there to help them, but there's also you know, numbers you could call. Right, it's a slippery slow because I have had friends that not are necessarily in an abusive relationship, but are in an unhappy marriage, and if you say something, they can get a little Yeah, oh for sure. Yeah. I think I think Rich is a jerk too, And yeah, yeah. It's a very delicate, delicate situation. That truly is. I have one more question for you. Do you know any co workers who are nudists or swingers? And if so, would it change your opinion of them? Is a great You don't have to say their names. Oh yeah, Joe, it works, No, Joe Smith.

53:56 I do not. I can honestly say I do not know of any workers who are nudists or swingers. I can't. I'm trying to think back in my career and I can't think of anybody that I've known. Probably something that you don't tell people. I mean, if you're a swinger, you probably want you want people to know in some sense, right, because you're looking for you know, other p. There are clubs and places for that, and I think that that's what most people do, is they find a safe space. And I do know someone who went on their honeymoon to a resort that was I think it was clothing optional and he told me a little bit about it. They weren't like nudists, but they just went to this resort and he was like a little It was a little eye opening.

54:37 We were on our honeymoon. Wasn't there a nude beach that someone told us? Oh? You did not want to go there? Yeah? It was in Jamaica. Yeah. Would you judge a friend or co worker? Really? I mean too, I'm always like a live and let live kind of person. Well as you're not hurting someone else. I mean weird, just like you were someone who was in a cubicle you just walked, You're on the corner in Joe's. Yeah, that I might judge a little bit. It would be frowned in the workplace. What you do on your own time is your own business. Absolutely well, please be sure to come back for part two. Part two might break us. Oh no, Well, if you would like to listen to you Part two right now, you can join us on patreon dot com slash love Mary Kill. We have one tier for five dollars a month. You get early access and you get to listen to multi part episodes all at once without waiting.

55:35 So it's still November, and November is such an important month, I think to really because it's my birthday, well exactly, and let me just talk about gratitude. That was a great segue because I just wanted to talk about gratitude for a second. And I'm so grateful to you, my partner, no serious, but our listeners too. We have developed such a good group of people, such a good community, and I just want to say I sincerely, I am so grateful for our relationships. And yeah, it's just been such a wonderful, supportive journey for the most part. This weekend, there was another threat on Reddit that mentioned us, and that just was.

56:16 Like multiple people mentioned us, and it was so yeah, it was just. So touching, and just know that we truly appreciate it. It said something was like, they're kind of funny. They don't even try to be funny. So that made me laugh. That was kind of a funny comment. It's true, though, because I think some people try really hard to be funny, and if we make a joke, it's not really it just natural. I know I don't have to try. I'm very blessed you are very funny. But just know that we truly appreciate your support. It means so much to us. We really do. I think when we started this over three years ago, we never would have expected to like have, you know, have these relationships with people. I know they're over email or messaging wherever, but it's just so cool.

56:59 Even the people that I know aren't messaging us that are listening. And I hear that we put a lot of people to sleep, yeah, which it makes me laugh. Which we should probably keep it down sometimes. I think sometimes why are we talking? So I should we just do a whisper episode? Yeah, it would be totally crazy, creepy. Really, you kind of played the swarmy guy pretty am I saying that smarmy? Yeah? I was sorry. I try. I try really hard when we have when we're acting, to try to get into character. I do. I do pride myself on being, you know, a pretty decent. I think we both think that we're better actors than maybe we actually are. I don't know. I shouldn't speak for you, but.

57:41 But I did feel like I was. I did feel like I was nailing the part, and it made me feel a little bad that I was nailing the part because he's a horrible person. So you're not a horrible person, but it is. Honestly, it's really it's fun to play terrible people, I think when in like, if I was an actor, I think those would be the roles I would like the most because it's just fun to get to be somebody so different. Right right. I think a lot of actors seem to play the same role over and over. Mm hmm. But yeah, to be like a really bad guy, yeah, I think call us NBC ABC. I don't know what show would you want to Well, you wanted to be in a Hallmark movie, I do, I do you want to play well, you want to play podcasters in it, But I think it would be fun to play the bad guy too.

58:24 I've been meaning to give a shout out to our friend Marcy. I think her last name is Bleszie b l E s Y. She writes a lot of really cute books, so she just sent me a copy of her latest book is called Dying on the Housetop Ho Ho ho, a Christmas novella. Oh that's cool. Yeah, you haven't finished it yet, but I started, and she's really funny and sweet and kind nice, So I really think you guys should should check it out. I'm so impressed with anybody that can write a book. Yeah, she's written a bunch in this series, but she's also written some young adult books and if you have Kindle Unlimited, it is on Kindle Unlimited this month.

59:04 So cool. Yeah, she's awesome. I love her. Over the weekend, we got our first snow. We did. It was supposed to snow like up to six inches, but I think we got an inch. And it was the best kind of snow because as soon as it hit the road or the dryway, it melted. It looked pretty. It was really nice. But yeah, it's. Super cold here. Now it's gonna warm up. But I have, like I have these fleecy leggings on that I got from Amazon that are fleece lined inside that I recommend. But I did layers today because I'm freezing. Yeah, I've been cold the last Do you remember. Last weekend on Halloween when it was warm and someone told you that you should put up the Christmas lights?

59:45 No, I don't remember. I remember that. No, I don't think anyone told me, did you did you get those Christmas lights up? No, because I don't think anyone told me that. I didn't hear it. If someone did, maybe they did that's. Some wise person with red hair told you that you should Christmas. I don't know anywhyy Why is. That job relegated to you? Why do you always have to do it? That's true? Oh well, because I spent like two days decorating the inside of the house. But you know what's another day spent on the outside. It would be you know, you might as well just keep going. I mean, somehow we do. I don't think this was intended when we first got married, but we do tend to do like chores that are. More traditional male and female. Like something breaks, it's my job to fix it.

1:00:29 I don't know why that happens. Oh I do because I think we're both very I don't think either of us are like confined to those kind of gender roles or anything like that. But it just well, you are you were not handy when we first got married. Do you have taught yourself a lot of stuff? Like and we have. We've talked about ourderator situation. Everyone knows about our stupid ice maker, but our dryer also is problematic, and like. You taking that thing apart more time? Right? And I don't think I would be I mean, you've done it a lot of times where lint gets stuck in places that shouldn't get stuck and you have to totally take the front off. And well, I don't know what we did before YouTube, because it's yeah, you find a video on everything that can get to call a.

1:01:11 Guy and now I just say, honey, yeah, I do my best. Well, that was an exciting conversation. I don't know how we yeah, how did we get here? Well, thank you all so much for listening, and please come back for part two. Until next time, don't kill your wife and don't kill your husband.